She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
