the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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