The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
