he wants to bone in the snuggie
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
