so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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