thus making me awesome and them whores
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
