ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
