I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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