I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i was born a porn star she said
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
