billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
