And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
