I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Please don't give away my fajitas
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
