Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
