why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize