yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
