sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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