Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
