I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
