You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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