Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(213): View more from California

I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday

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(515): View more from Iowa

After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Is it because I queefed?

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(815): View more from Illinois

The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god

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(651): View more from Minnesota

All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.

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(706): View more from Georgia

Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.

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(720): View more from Colorado

We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.

(970): View more from Colorado

Oooh, he sounds pretty classy

(720): View more from Colorado

Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?

(303): View more from Colorado

How about from a sixth floor window?

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