It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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