mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
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