i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
