and you said cock pushups were impossible
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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