Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
