We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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