i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
