if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
