If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
