Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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