I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize