Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
