i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
