My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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