Can Purell be used as lube?
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
