Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
