if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
