dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
you told grandpa to call you daddy
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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