It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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