how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
