Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
