I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
