problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
