I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
