btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
