i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
