You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
