my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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