suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Randomize
