Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I just had sex on a roof
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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