Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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