Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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