I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
