Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
You may now shotgun with the bride
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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