Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
