Barsexuality is the new black.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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