thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
