i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
