LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
